I ain't even bovvered, tho

fffwankie:

everyone knows about silly putty, and silly string, but what you need to watch out for is serious putty (C4) and serious string (tripwires)

eclogues:

eclogues:

these are my 16 kids, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, rook, knight, bishop, queen, king, bishop, knight, and rook

ugh. just found out my neighbor named all her 16 kids after mine. ok now everyone line up

modmad:

clairenatural:

just learned that humans might have evolved smaller pupils and irises/more whites of our eyes so that it’s easier for other humans to tell where we’re looking as a way of communicating sudden threats. and now i’m thinking of every time i have been frantically giving my friend a Look to get out of an uncomfortable situation (or been on the receiving end). still using it to communicate sudden threats only this time his name is kyle

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bi-the-wei:

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Neglected! Discarded!

Unloved! Unthought of!

This is truly a tragic day!

Jiang Wanyin has declared he will not go into town with his dear, doting friends until he is done with his meditation.

How cold!

robinade:

themuppetmasterencyclopedia:

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Time to go

How amazing would a Muppet Murder on the Orient Express be?? With Gonzo as the detective; a notable nose instead of a notable mustache!

There could be Sam as the bad guy, thrown off the train and presumably dead (he shows up unharmed at the end, “these wings aren’t just for decoration, you know”). He’s targeted for kidnapping and ransoming Miss Piggy’s dog Foo-Foo (though it being the muppets probably means it’s all a misunderstanding).

This makes Miss Piggy a sort of fusion of the retired-actress-mastermind and the Russian princess, and Kermit probably as the Colonel. Animal can be the Hungarian Count with the bed temper lol. And Rizzo definitely plays Bouc, director of the train and Gonzo’s friend :)

I’m thinking the humans of the show should be the servants; Miss Piggy’s maid and Sam’s butler.

imnotgrimimjustagrumpyreaper:

grim-vs-lizard:

grim-vs-lizard:

Lovers’ Quarrel 💔: Gaius Octavius (NATM) vs. Jedediah Smith (Same media)

Octavius ❤️

Jedediah 💙

See Results
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LOVE WINS TODAY!!!!!!!!!

LOVE WINSSSS

apocalypticvalraven:

shutyourmoustache:

This man’s life insurance is “No”

orevet:

keanurevees:

*me plugging in my phone in the dark* dont think about it dont think about it dont think about it dont think abotu it dont thinka botu it donmt think aboiut it dont think about it dont think abotu it dont thihnk about it dont think about it dont think about it dojnt think abtiou it dont thi

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nature is healing

jadedgenasi:

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I’ve seen this before, but it’s been years and it just came across my Twitter in its dying days. The words are from a favorite author of mine, Maggie Stiefvater, and they are the words I most need to hear when it comes to dealing with chronic pain and illness. I didn’t need this the first time I saw it, six years ago. I need it now. Maybe you do, too.

rainonsand:

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Another day, another delightful Neil Gaiman story.

—————-

EDIT: Where are my manners. The book in question is Once Upon A Tome: The Misadventures of a Rare Bookseller

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linktr.ee/oliverdarkshire

ilikethemwings:

laora-ryn:

Saw this license plate today and I’m still ugly laughing about it

A Texas license plate on a gray Honda Pilot, visible behind a bike rack. The plate's theme is "Columbia remembered." it has a small picture of a rocket with the text to it reading "SPASE"ALT
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striving-artist:

bowelflies:

jellybeanfeind:

psshaw:

discoursedrome:

so in D&D the gelatinous cube is an explicit in-setting ecological representation of the fact that “dungeons with ten-foot-wide corridors” are a common enough feature that there are creatures adapted or designed specifically for them. but dragons aren’t adapted for that design at all, nor are a lot of the other big guys; they either need separate exits or to use magic or shapeshift into a human form to go throguh the tunnels

but this is a problem that has been solved in real-life! the problem of “large animal that needs to get into a fairly consistently-sized tunnel that’s significantly smaller” is solved by snakes, and, crucially, by mustelids, animals that are very long relative to their size. so I think D&D needs more of that. there should be giant ten-foot-wide dungeon weasels and stuff.

I love everything this post is laying down, but let’s not zoom past the most important possibility.

Square dragons.

My dumb ass really thought I was gonna be able to scroll past this post without drawing the two most ridiculous dragons to have ever infested my brain.

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@thecreaturecodex

I saw that last one and laughed so hard I kicked over a lit candle. I love him.

geeseareassholes:

segretecose:

i must not afternoon nap. afternoon nap is the mind-killer. afternoon nap is the little death that brings total obliteration. i will face my afternoon sleepy tired and permit it to pass over and through me. and when it has gone i will turn the inner eye to see its path. where the afternoon sleepy tired has gone there will be nothing. only i will remain

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I MUST NOT AFTERNOON NAP. AFTERNOON NAP IS THE MIND KILLER

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tsurangaconundrum:

i wish they would give misha an honorary glaad award for what hes done for the jokes online community